Saturday, April 21, 2007

guilty mama

Dearest Son,

It’s Sunday! Lazy day for the three of us … Dad and I are still thinking if we go swimming a while later or just continue to be lazy till this day ends :)

Daddy’s tinkering his gadgets. (He looks and moves just like you. It’s as if there’s a giant Uji in the room playing, like you do when you are awake) You are sleeping. I’m here beside you, obviously, blogging. And I’m guilty. To make up for that guilt, I spent a quiet time with you, took a picture of us embracing each other while I sang … “In the eyes of a child, there is joy, there is laughter …”




But I’m still guilty.

Coz I raised my voice on you (I guess for the first time) during lunch.
I gave you spaghetti --- you refused.
I gave you yummy pork --- you refused.
I gave you our leftover ampalaya (which I know you like a lot) --- you refused, and you shouted! And I almost shouted too! Maybe I did. I’m just in denial.

So I gave you kokocrunch.
And you ate quietly.
Then you dozed off to sleep --- (read: you SLEPT with kokocrunch in your hands.)

Poor little baby boy. Mommy forgot you missed your morning nap :(
Won’t happen again baby. I will do my very best.

Writing this letter somehow makes me feel better. I know in my heart, you have forgiven me.

Amama (that’s how you call me these days)

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... evething i need to know, my mom tells me.